Buy The New York Times
every Sunday
and take the week to read it
Eat mostly organic vegetarian
except for the occasional chicken
Drink a glass of wine
almost every day
from dainty cut crystal stemware
Adorn your walls with art
and family photos
Wash dishes
only when the spirit moves you
Realize when you’re about 13
that you don’t give a crap about
what others think
Become a feminist!
Do what you want
Be a rebel
Speak your mind when you need to
Avoid negative people
even if they are relatives
Take naps on a hammock
almost every afternoon in the summertime
Passionately pursue one cause
whether it be passing the ERA or saving the whales
stick to it your whole life
inspire younger ones to carry the torch
Work to be as successful as you can, then
burn your bra at 50 and learn yoga
teach it to others for the rest of your life
Meditate every day
twice a day
Don’t kill crickets
their days are numbered anyway
Always be patient, kind, and open minded
Never miss an opportunity to see the humor in anything
Every evening watch three different news channels at once
while skipping those awful commercials
When the world looks like it’s going
to hell in a hay basket
visit a college campus
when you see the young people
you have hope for a better tomorrow
Let your hair be the color of pearls
Put on lots of mascara and dangling earrings
every Thursday morning
and take the train into the city
for Italian class
Then go have Thai food or Indian
and see a show
before taking the late train home
Practice Italian everyday
Always keep moving Onward
Do it all with Grace
and eat half a Klondike bar every night
because
“If you were born when Calvin Coolidge was President, what else can you do?